purpose and knowledge

For a very long time, my intent in life, my larger goal or purpose, was this idea of learning for knowledge, of learning in order to gather as much information about the world as I possibly could. After awhile of carrying this as a guide to my intrinsic motivation, I began to realize the insignificance of knowledge and the impossibility of learning. You can't gain all the knowledge in the world, and even if you did, knowing those things would give no value to life if there was nothing to be done with them. And so I began searching for a point to life again, a reason for going through daily existence.

I was watching the sunset at the beach one day and came to a realization. It had been a long time since I felt like I had a intrinsic guide to why I do the things I do, a long time since I had abandoned the notion of knowledge for the sake of knowledge. I had gone through much of life wondering why I was alive, wondering what was the point of existence. But while watching the sun pass the horizon, I realized that I didn't have to give up the basis of my previous purpose, I only had to change it slightly so that it had a bit more significance and impact.

And so it became not knowledge for the sake of knowledge, but knowledge for the sake of creation, for synthesis, for improvement. It became learning so I can become something I want to become, so I can help others on their journeys through life, so I can create something with a basis in what has been created before.

There are some moments in life that make an impact on how you view the world, and since that day I have felt just a little more guided in my direction. My path seems to be clearer, and I feel like the minutes in the day have some sort of meaning. It feels nice to have a purpose again, a kind of guiding principle, intrinsic value, that helps me in the moments that I'm not sure. I am far from having things figured out, but this has at least helped bring me some peace of mind.

And so every day I learn, and I work towards creating something with the knowledge I gain.